Friday, October 08, 2004

Sweet tapdancing Jesus!

I've just gotten the most awesomest haircut ever (Nick at Pur is some sort of demi god) and all the caffeine I had put me in that "MEMEMEMEMEME!!! Hooray for everything" kind of mode.

In addition to accidentally scamming a free bagel this morning (if Tim Ho's fucks up I don't see why the onus is on me to point it out to them, especially when I'm already late for the bus) I also got free lunch at the grand rounds lecture today at the Hospital in which I intern. The lecture itself was really interesting, even without canneloni. It was about a stress-diathesis model for comorbid anxiety and major depression. It was also a big advertisement for how a new SSRI is the best treatment for everything, ever. Ever since I ate that free lunch I've been obnoxioulsy happy. Maybe they laced the fruit salad with the drug. If so, I'd recomend Mer...something...ine. It doesn't seem to do much for memory.

I miss my old psychology days. It's all so damn interesting that it makes me want to become a psychiatrist. I think you need to have good grades for that though. I'd better stick with Social Work. But in psych you get to use words like "Hippocampal neurogenesis" and in Social Work you get to think of classy ways to say "pissed her pants" and "didn't smell so great" for when you're writing up case notes.

I have the overwhelming urge to play with a LiteBrite. Remember those? You push those pegs into paper and create designs and then turn on the lightbulb behind it and it looks all futuristic (in an 80's way) and sweet. I wonder what happened to mine.

It would also be fun to play that game witch a dog where you hold up his front legs and pretend like he's dancing with you. My ex-beagle, Charlie, was pretty good for that. I'm pretty sure he hated it, because he'd tuck his tail between his legs and look all confused, but I'd buy his affection with milkbones. He was a'ight, except that he peed on my bag and got sprayed by skunks sometimes. I used to sing this song to him (to the tune of "I am slowly going crazy, 1-2-3-4-5-6 switch!"), "I know a dog whose name is Charlie, he is a very intelligent pup. He can stand up on his hind legs when you hold his front ones up".

On the downside of things I have more school work due in such a short time that it is barely humanly possible to do even a half-assed job. Also the government won't give me free money and is insisting that I go to various interviews and such. I just want the EI, I don't want to work for it. Can't they get that straight?.

Well, I'm going to try to learn from things instead of getting exasperated about them. I will also share my knowledge. For example, did you know that:
-Bus schedules are meant as more of a suggestion than as a predictive instrument.
-If you cook a baked potato too long you can make one big crunchy potato chip. It still tastes ok.
-Fish doesn't keep when you forget to put it in the fridge overnight.
-They are really not fucking around when they say "please use other sidewalk".
So now I know, and knowing is half the battle. (GO JOE!)

I had been thinking about phrases we should save from extinction, like "fuckin' A", "fake it till you make it" and "you remind me of people I used to fuck in prison" when the hair-cutting guru, Nick, busted out one of my all time favourites: "sweet tapdancing Jesus!" I also really like "just give'r", but that's a little overused already.

So just fuckin' giv'r!


At 5:09 p.m., Blogger K. Valliant-Saunders said...

Jesus actually does the two step shimmy sham. It's a breakdance move that only Jesus can break out in the middle of a dance off with those 14 year old dance-dance revolution guru's just to make sure they know who's the son of god.

Jesus:"C'mon bitch, who's the SON OF GOD???"
DDR kid: "Jesus is, Jesus is...shit dawg!"
Jesus:"DAMNNNN straight fuckwad, now gimme yo lunch money."

DDR kid:"Aren't you supposed to take pity on me or something and be giving?"
Jesus:"I fucking DIED for yo shit already bitch, gimme yo goddamn lunch money!"
DDR Kid:"I hate you Jesus."

At 10:44 p.m., Blogger Sofi said...

Here's what's fun: discovering that you've been updating your blog, and reading them all in one go!

This one made me laugh and laugh until I pissed my pants. Er...I mean...lost control of my bladder.

Thank you, Liz. I am going to save the rest for tomorry.

(Psst - I need a wicked-awesome boys-will-want-to-have-sex-with-me haircut. Although I love my current hairdresser, how much bling is Nick at Pur?)


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