it's been a while

Hello blog. How was your day?

Mine has been pretty sweet in some aspects:
-I am being taken out for a 10 course dinner in a few hours for a friend’s birthday (though I hope we’ll be able to pay our own meal as there’s something wrong with paying for 10 people’s dinner on your own birthday)
-I had a lavish free lunch at work
-I won a $10 gift certificate to a coffee shop
-I got paid to watch a really good film called This Beggar’s Description. (find it at www.nfb.ca)

It’s about Philip Tétrault who everyone who has spent any time in Le Plateau will probably recognize as the homeless guy with the pan flute. He “has been locked up in jails and psych wards, kicked out of the house by desperate friends and family and spent long periods living on the streets of Montreal. However, he is also a talented writer and loving father whose deep family bonds and friendships have helped him come through periods of incredible darkness brought on by his schizophrenia” It turns out he’s friends with Leonard Cohen, who is also in the movie. Cohen’s compassion for Phil just bumped him up a few places in my pretend-boyfriend roster. I would highly recommend this movie. The lovely shots of Montreal alone make the film.

But not everything is peachy keen in Lizland. I found out this morning that my student loan repayment letter wasn’t wrong. It turns out I wasn’t eligible for a bursary so now I owe an extra 2 large. Ouch.
Also, I apparently I may be schizophrenic.

Because I am a DSM-IV nerd, I found this test for schizophrenia: http://www.schizophrenia.com/sztest/survey.php

I just tried it and it says I may have schizophrenia and should be screened by a mental health professional. As someone with a professional degree who works in mental health, I’m pretty sure this is a false positive, but time will have to tell. Maybe I’m just prodomal or experiencing perceptual abnormalities. I certainly have barely slept since I’ve managed to keep the St. Patrick’s Day party vibe going until now, a week later.

And now off to go stuff myself full of 10 courses of Chinese food.

Please please please vote.

After a good long rest, the blog has woken from its hibernation on the eve of a federal election.

I would certainly not tell anyone who to vote for, [cough...NDP!...cough] but I urge you all to get out there and vote tomorrow. Even if your candidate stands no chance of winning, or if they are sure to win without your support, please just get your vote on.

Your party will get $1.75 in federal funding per eligible vote received, so getcher ass to your polling station, please. If you're a tory, I won't be too offended if you stay home instead. Check out Elections Canada for details.

Have you seen the ads in BC featuring big daddy Jack's moustache? The only place I could find it is here (http://www.conservative.ca/EN/2049/) click on "Jack Talk" and please excuse my continued inability to understand how links work. I think his response to this smear ad alone is worth voting for:

OTTAWA (CP) - The only thing NDP Leader Jack Layton has not said during this campaign is "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin," but he's come close. What's making his hair stand up is a Tory ad that shows a moustache superimposed on ordinary people saying things like they want higher taxes.
Layton, who's agreed to shave his moustache to raise money for a charity after Jan. 23, has begun to be possessive of his lip fur.

In Terrace, B.C., Layton began speaking about it in the third person the other night.
"I understand there is a rogue moustache that's making an appearance in advertisements in British Columbia. I don't know if you've seen this, but I have got to tell you what this moustache here has to say.

"This moustache says we're running against the Conservatives because their ideas are wrong for working families. This moustache says the NDP will be there day in and day out for the working families of Canada."

Nice! Prepare to get bitch-slapped, grits and tories....I hope. A girl can dream, right?

My powers of pyrokinesis are astounding

Last night I was started smelling smoke and then heard sirens. Looking outside my bedroom window I saw this (a firetruck setting up a ladder reaching to the roof. I was later joined by a few others):


Since I moved to the current apartment I've been willing this building, which is an auto-body repair shop, to burn down or move to France or otherwise just stop making so damned much noise outside my bedroom window so early in the morning. So as I was watching smoke pour out of the windows, I couldn't help but feel guilty for willing this to happen so many times. I later found out that it was arson and there's an investigation looking into insurance fraud, so I think I'm off the hook.

I woke up Faith who was staying in my living room and who was oblivious to the whole thing. She didn't believe that there was a fire until I made her get up and look outside. She responded by going back to bed and falling alseep, despite the sirens, chainsaws, calls from neighbours and shouts from firefigthers. The whole thing wrapped up at about 5:00 AM.

If anything else that's been pissing me off burns down, we'll know that maybe I'm like that girl in "Carrie". I think she was called Carrie or something.

This is Jenny. Jenny rules. She is standing next to my new favourite graffito which says (for those of you who don't speak French) "Shall we zombie?"

Hell yeah, we will zombie.

Here's a picture of a picture of my grandpa back in his RAF days.

Respect for one's elders

My grand-folks are pretty cool.

Grandpops (http://www.famouscanadians.net/name/w/wrightjerry.php) is one smart dude. He has 30 patents, a distinguished service award and got a medal presented to him by the King.
Like I said, he's a smart cookie.

As was grandma. She worked as a physiotherapist in Scotland during WWII, which is how she met gramps.

It's really sad to see what the ravages of time have done to them. Last time I saw grandma she made eye contact with me and seemed to respond to my tone of voice. Her Alzheimer's has gotten to the point that she can't even feed herself and has severe aphasia. It's like she's regressed to being only a few months old. She sits in a chair most of the day. She used to be in a room by herself for most of this time because she used to shout gibberish and it was disruptive to the others. Now she's quite docile and mostly sleeps or stares off into space. I really hope she's not cognizent of what's going on. Still, it was nice to see a small part of the once vital, smart and independent woman I remember.

Last time I saw grandpa he showed me all the things in his house of many years he's about to sell. Talk about your walks down memory lane. We looked through some photo albums and he told me some cool shit about his service during WWII and how he revolutionalized aircraft navigation by inventing the R-theta computer. We went to visit grandma together and fed her dinner at her nursing home.

The next day, he told my dad that he'd received a visit from a nice young lady with a car. When dad suggested that it might have been me, gramps said he didn't think so. He remembered who I was while I was there, I think, but he did seem a bit confused towards the end.

I wish I'd gotten to know them better when I had the chance instead of being a snotty brat and thinking their stories were boring.

get paid to snort blow/get topless

I heard on the radio that Canada's unemployment rate is currently the lowest it has been in 30 years. It's apparently 6.6%, which does, indeed, seem quite low. As part of my public service program, here's some leads I saw in the newspaper a few days ago:

La Senza Lingerie: Fit Model.
La Senza is currently looking for a fit model to join their dynamicteam in Montreal head office. Your main responsibilities will includetrying on samples for fittings and a few hours a week reserved toadministrative assistance for a total of 30 hours a week.
Fit provisions: Approximately 5'7" tall
wears size 36B bra
wears size 9/10 garments
Bust circumference 37-38"
Under bust circumference 30 1/2 - 31"
Waist circumference 28-29"
Hips cricumference (at 8" below waist line) 39" - 40"

Please fax or e-mail your resumé, along with yoru measurements to LaSenza fir dept (514) 684-6127 or dsawyer@lasenza.ca

Can you imagine the job interview? I think they would definitely ask you how many words per minute you can type and then ask you to take off your shirt.

I would like to know exactly why they think that a person with a 28inch waist wears a size 9/10. No wonder all the bras from La Senza fitso strangely.

Also you can get free cocaine from my alma mater:

"Researchers in McGill University's Departments of Psychiatry andNeurology & Neurosurgery are conducting a brain imaging study aboutmen (aged 18-40) who have used cocaine during the past year. The studyinvolves an interview, two or three 24-hour hospital stays, brainimaging and the adminstration of cocaine. Participants will becompensated for their time. The principal investigator is Dr. Leyton.if interested: 398-4015 or mcgillreasearch@hotmail.com"