lord of the flies

If I knew how many flies I would have had to deal with today, I wouldn't have left the house.

When I got to my stage I was told that the other three students and I were to move to our new office.Ten minutes later some guys showed up and took my desk hostage, leading it away on a dolly. I followed them and thus found out the location of my new office. I'm now working out of a room on "Ward C".

It's ok except that it's infested with flies. I spent about 20 minutes sweeping up the hundreds of dead flies that littered the ground. Houseflies aren't all that gross until you start dealing with well over a gross of them. (sorry.) We couldn't walk anywhere without crunching them underfoot. Since that is the nastiest thing ever, I procured a broom and got rid of them. But then maintenance showed up to yell at us for stealing their broom. But that's ok because we apologized and sweettalked them into mopping the floor - for the first time in decades.

The "office" is actually an old double room which held five beds for psychiatric patients. This was from back before most psychiatric meds were developed, so most psychiatric patients were considered untreatable and were pretty much kept like livestock...though in hospital wards instead of barns. Coincidentally, the Douglas has kept pet pigs on the hospital grounds for several decades now.

Aside from replacing the beds with the desks, installing phone jacks and slapping a coat of paint on it, I think my office hasn't changed at all since the 40's. Once we got the dead flies out and mopped the floor it looked pretty good...in a retro-One-Flew-Over-the-Cuckoo's-Nest sort of way. Though we still have about 50 live flies to hang out with. I will train them to do my bidding.

I'm watching game 6 of the Yankees Sox series, which is weird because I don't actually follow baseball. They just called out riot police to hang out on the sidelines - how fucked up is that? Well it's bottom of the 9th and 4-2 Boston, so the good guys might actually win. If they do, maybe all those asshole Yankee fans will riot and get stomped by the riot police. Police brutality sucks and all, but that would be pretty funny. Who's your daddy now?

I just called Andrew to see what he thought of it and got every girl's favourite response: "can't talk now, watching televised sports." Great. Did I mention: "watching sports alone, save for a girl"? Oh well, I'm reasonably sure he's not a bad man and this is a big game, so I don't mind. Plus every once in a while he'll make me a macaroni picture or spend eight hours on a bus to see me. And I hope the Sox win too...only I'm going to sleep now instead of finding out how it ends.

The Green Monster

Boo Yankees!!

Stupid Red Sox, getcher shit together! Seriously. This ass-kicking is just embarassing.

Hee hee, look at me pretending like I know about sports. The Green Monster is apparently the back wall of Fenway, so named because....um....every once in a while it eats a dog or stray child. I think it also is hard to hit the ball past.

I'm thinking of testing drugs for money. Does anyone want to go hang out with angry drifters on generic brand allergy medecine with me? You can make quite a bit of cash and you might be in the placebo group. Then again, you might grow a tail or turn green. If anyone's interested: "Volunteers Wanted!Would you liketo receive up to$1,500?Call (514) 381-ALGO (2546) and find out how to participate in one of our clinical trials."

EW! The cat is rimming herself again. I know they all do that, but I wish she'd pick somewhere other than right in front of the TV to get down to business.

Pantaloons/ Do it for Jodi!

Thanksgiving was pretty awesome. Andrew came to Montreal and then we went to the O-Twat to see my extended family, eat a ton of turkey and sleep.

Andrew is thinking of Canadianizing himself soon. Since Bush might actually get a second term, I can't believe more Yankee folk aren't doing the same.

Andrew hasn't started to talk funny from being in Boston yet, but I know it's only a matter of time before he stops being able to say stuff like "car" and "chowder", so it's imperative that he come back to Montreal soon. That, and I like to see him. He even helped me clean up cat poo a few days ago, so he's a keeper.

My Family, for all their foibles, is pretty damn good to me. On this trip I left Ottawa with: a pumpkin from the garden, some more lighter fluid for the little habachi mom gave me last time I saw her, vaccuum cleaner bags, assorted other stuff and Pantaloons - my new cat.

Pantaloons had been living with my dad and step-mother and their two other cats and two dogs for a while. She hates the other cats and spent most of her time outside or hiding behind the washing machine from them. Not smart seeing as how that's where she always hid, so they knew where to find her.

So now she's living with me and Denise.
Aside from the pooing in the cage incident on the way here, she's doing pretty well. Denise and
I are completely obsessed with her and her fluffy ways. We're trying to train her to be less annoying using squirt guns, but no success yet- she was outside my bedroom door meowing and scratching at 6:30 this morning. Just 'cause she's bored. She's officially the cutest thing ever.

I realize I have now crossed the line...not only do I have a blog, but I use it to talk about my cat. Just wait until I'm done all my papers - I'll start sewing her little outfits or something even more crazy-cat-lady-ish.

EWWWW! George Bush is on TV! His plan for dealing with the healthcare crisis is to personally forgo a flu shot and to ask other healthy people to do the same.
C'mon Kerry, GET HIM!
Hey, someone's been teaching him new words! "Rhetoric", "Litany" he doens't know what that means. Way to flip him off Denise! Who is voting for this dumbass? C'mon crazy people with guns....isn't anyone interested in impressing Jodi Foster anymore?

Pantaloons will calm me down. Serenity now...serenity now.

Sweet tapdancing Jesus!

YAY!
I've just gotten the most awesomest haircut ever (Nick at Pur is some sort of demi god) and all the caffeine I had put me in that "MEMEMEMEMEME!!! Hooray for everything" kind of mode.

In addition to accidentally scamming a free bagel this morning (if Tim Ho's fucks up I don't see why the onus is on me to point it out to them, especially when I'm already late for the bus) I also got free lunch at the grand rounds lecture today at the Hospital in which I intern. The lecture itself was really interesting, even without canneloni. It was about a stress-diathesis model for comorbid anxiety and major depression. It was also a big advertisement for how a new SSRI is the best treatment for everything, ever. Ever since I ate that free lunch I've been obnoxioulsy happy. Maybe they laced the fruit salad with the drug. If so, I'd recomend Mer...something...ine. It doesn't seem to do much for memory.

I miss my old psychology days. It's all so damn interesting that it makes me want to become a psychiatrist. I think you need to have good grades for that though. I'd better stick with Social Work. But in psych you get to use words like "Hippocampal neurogenesis" and in Social Work you get to think of classy ways to say "pissed her pants" and "didn't smell so great" for when you're writing up case notes.

I have the overwhelming urge to play with a LiteBrite. Remember those? You push those pegs into paper and create designs and then turn on the lightbulb behind it and it looks all futuristic (in an 80's way) and sweet. I wonder what happened to mine.

It would also be fun to play that game witch a dog where you hold up his front legs and pretend like he's dancing with you. My ex-beagle, Charlie, was pretty good for that. I'm pretty sure he hated it, because he'd tuck his tail between his legs and look all confused, but I'd buy his affection with milkbones. He was a'ight, except that he peed on my bag and got sprayed by skunks sometimes. I used to sing this song to him (to the tune of "I am slowly going crazy, 1-2-3-4-5-6 switch!"), "I know a dog whose name is Charlie, he is a very intelligent pup. He can stand up on his hind legs when you hold his front ones up".

On the downside of things I have more school work due in such a short time that it is barely humanly possible to do even a half-assed job. Also the government won't give me free money and is insisting that I go to various interviews and such. I just want the EI, I don't want to work for it. Can't they get that straight?.

Well, I'm going to try to learn from things instead of getting exasperated about them. I will also share my knowledge. For example, did you know that:
-Bus schedules are meant as more of a suggestion than as a predictive instrument.
-If you cook a baked potato too long you can make one big crunchy potato chip. It still tastes ok.
-Fish doesn't keep when you forget to put it in the fridge overnight.
-They are really not fucking around when they say "please use other sidewalk".
So now I know, and knowing is half the battle. (GO JOE!)

I had been thinking about phrases we should save from extinction, like "fuckin' A", "fake it till you make it" and "you remind me of people I used to fuck in prison" when the hair-cutting guru, Nick, busted out one of my all time favourites: "sweet tapdancing Jesus!" I also really like "just give'r", but that's a little overused already.

So just fuckin' giv'r!