Wednesday, October 20, 2004

lord of the flies

If I knew how many flies I would have had to deal with today, I wouldn't have left the house.

When I got to my stage I was told that the other three students and I were to move to our new office.Ten minutes later some guys showed up and took my desk hostage, leading it away on a dolly. I followed them and thus found out the location of my new office. I'm now working out of a room on "Ward C".

It's ok except that it's infested with flies. I spent about 20 minutes sweeping up the hundreds of dead flies that littered the ground. Houseflies aren't all that gross until you start dealing with well over a gross of them. (sorry.) We couldn't walk anywhere without crunching them underfoot. Since that is the nastiest thing ever, I procured a broom and got rid of them. But then maintenance showed up to yell at us for stealing their broom. But that's ok because we apologized and sweettalked them into mopping the floor - for the first time in decades.

The "office" is actually an old double room which held five beds for psychiatric patients. This was from back before most psychiatric meds were developed, so most psychiatric patients were considered untreatable and were pretty much kept like livestock...though in hospital wards instead of barns. Coincidentally, the Douglas has kept pet pigs on the hospital grounds for several decades now.

Aside from replacing the beds with the desks, installing phone jacks and slapping a coat of paint on it, I think my office hasn't changed at all since the 40's. Once we got the dead flies out and mopped the floor it looked pretty a retro-One-Flew-Over-the-Cuckoo's-Nest sort of way. Though we still have about 50 live flies to hang out with. I will train them to do my bidding.

I'm watching game 6 of the Yankees Sox series, which is weird because I don't actually follow baseball. They just called out riot police to hang out on the sidelines - how fucked up is that? Well it's bottom of the 9th and 4-2 Boston, so the good guys might actually win. If they do, maybe all those asshole Yankee fans will riot and get stomped by the riot police. Police brutality sucks and all, but that would be pretty funny. Who's your daddy now?

I just called Andrew to see what he thought of it and got every girl's favourite response: "can't talk now, watching televised sports." Great. Did I mention: "watching sports alone, save for a girl"? Oh well, I'm reasonably sure he's not a bad man and this is a big game, so I don't mind. Plus every once in a while he'll make me a macaroni picture or spend eight hours on a bus to see me. And I hope the Sox win too...only I'm going to sleep now instead of finding out how it ends.


At 5:35 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ewwwww can't believe you had bugs in your office. That is fucking disgusting, dude! I think you need to take pantaloons there to take care of em bugs!

-No-Mo Skuul

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